Creating Space Through Forgiveness
Mayan Shamanic Journey: Part 5
Also see Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four
WWe were having a fire ceremony at night that focused on forgiveness. For over 4000 thousand years the Mayans have used stones carved into a round shape, some had carvings on them and they are raised about half a foot off the ground, they were everywhere, it was amazing! The fire was blazing on this ceremonial stone and most of us were on our knees hands in payer position or hands on our hearts and of course on the earth. Our Tata said BE HONEST, what harm have you done to others? Whether you meant it or not be honest about your feelings, do you have jealousy, resentment etc. The way he said, “be honest” gave the word honesty such meaning and clarity. I felt like I was in a trance, I began to see people’s faces and situations pop up in my minds eye and saw the bad and negative things I’ve done throughout my life – it was all flashing by – and I kept saying I am so sorry, I’m so sorry. Emotion rose up and I felt my heart crying in apology. Then we were asked to forgive ourselves and I went through the same process. Then we switched to forgiving those that have harmed us and again I saw pictures flashing by of situations and people who had hurt me and I forgave. It was beautifully emotional. My heart felt expanded and cleansed. With each deep breath I could feel the new space in my heart center, and the space felt radiant.Now a story, which to me shows so much how our vibration affects others and how we all hold up mirrors for each other. During the beginning part of the trip I had this unspoken tension with one of the girls, we could barely look at each other, and I realized during this ceremony I was jealous of her – I’ll skip the meaningless reasons why but I saw it clearly. I also saw how I have pushed down the idea that I could be jealous of someone because it’s just not an energy I am in vibration with, or so I thought! It was kind of shocking when I realized this emotion was apart of me. I asked for forgiveness from her and for myself, I felt ashamed I had felt that towards her. I was deeply sorry. I released these negative feelings into the earth and the fire completely evaporated it from my internal landscape and my vibration changed. The very next day the girl and I began to look each other in eye and connect. A few days after that were laughing together, speaking openly and I looked at her with love and still do. I wonder if I was a mirror for her in any way? But the big take away is that I let that emotion and all the feelings attached to it go. A weight was lifted and space was created because that emotion was now cleared away.
I have always known how the bigger issues, and the stories we hold onto, in life can take up so much space within you that it hinders your energy systems plus takes up space that can otherwise be used for positive things. It unbelievably did not occur to me that these little things were actually bigger than I thought and take up valuable space within.
What a great realization and gift to have this awareness so I can be mindful of it moving forward in life. Once I forgave myself it then changed my vibration, which then changed the relationships around me. The interconnectedness of everything is amazingly beautiful! I find it comforting as well to see such a clear example how we do control our own energy and can change whatever we do not like. We can broaden our perspectives and find entire new views and/or let go of old ones that then liberate us. The potential we all have for personal growth is limitless and that blows me away with gratitude!
I’m really grateful to that girl for allowing me this experience. I am grateful for our Tata always asking and encouraging us to BE HONEST with ourselves. That can be a “big ask” for some people and the journey can be painful. Looking into the mirror of who you are isn’t always pretty but when you bravely look and see the truth and then create positive changes based on what you did not like…well that’s a huge gift to yourself. You come out the other side energetically lighter and happier, and probably a kinder person.
I’d like to mention Donna Eden’s Energy Medicine here about internal space. Donna says whether it is good or bad we can become filled up with too much energy. Energy needs and wants space and when we hold onto too many things we fill ourselves. We need to be mindful of the space within us and how it is vital to our happiness that we have room for new, better and wondrous energies and emotions to come into our being. The blow out exercise is great for this! Even when things are going great for me I do blow outs with the intention of releasing excess energy so that I always have room for great surprises to come into my life and energy field.
A note about this Photo (by Rick Maitri): We climbed this pyramid after the fire ceremony and I did the most magical Connecting Heaven & Earth on top of it. I am one of those lights on the top – pure magic!
A related story about internal space
I was feeling blank for a few days, again, I mentioned in another post how I felt blank during the beginning of our Mayan journey, but it happened again about a month later and I thought oh no what’s wrong with me, I can’t focus, I can’t think and I just said to myself ok ok, I accept being blank. When I had felt blank on the trip it allowed amazing realizations to appear so I thought maybe this is a good thing? I had a big business meeting and I am a preparer but because I was “blank” I didn’t prepare as I usually wood. I just said to the universe, “I trust you”. I put together a nice goody bag of our Tony&Tina products and did some blow outs and off I went to my meeting and whoa! I had the space to accept fantastic things. I came out of the meeting with more good stuff than I ever would have imagined. I really believe it is the space I created in my energy that allowed me to attract great things in this situation. If I had been full-up…?
I sum it up like this:
Forgive and let it go.
Be brave and look into the mirrors in your life.
Keep your heart and mind open, always!
Blow out excess energy as a daily ritual so that you have more internal space because you never know where or how life’s gifts will show up.
Be open, show up and see what happens!
These are happy acts:)
